With April being a month prized for foolishness, I felt it appropriate to announce NSNC’s first-ever Cornhole Tournament, scheduled for Saturday, June 9, 3:30 pm, during our Cincinnati conference.
In the past, fun-loving NSNCers have eagerly participated in ill-fated competitions during downtime between annual conference sessions. In 1996, there was the impromptu spelling bee launched against a group of English professors in Snowbird, Utah, that was described by Michael Leonard as “a cockfight with higher-classed people.” Brave columnists competed in a croquet match against a burly batch of Marines in San Diego in 1998. In 1999, a columnist was nearly neutered when attendees sparred with a youth karate group in Louisville. Executive Director Suzette Standring recalls being “whipped into space” during a mechanical bull-riding competition in Grapevine, Texas, in 2005. And at a talent competition in Hartford, Connecticut, in 2013, judges Dave Barry and Alan Zweibel ruthlessly gonged participants, who drowned their sorrows so noisily our entire group was kicked out of the hospitality suite.
Clearly, foolish competition is a time-honored tradition at NSNC conferences, and #NSNC18 in Cincinnati will be no exception! But you may be wondering, “Why cornhole? Why now? And more importantly, what the hell is cornhole anyway?”
Despite the picnic pastime’s debated origins – which include 14th-century Germans pelting each other with rocks, a Kentucky farmer named Jedediah Magillicutty, ancient tribes of Blackhawk natives tossing pig bladders, and American quoits inventor Heyliger DeWindt – Cincinnati says it’s the real “Home of Cornhole.”
Cartoon by Dave Astor
Even if this hillbilly hobby didn’t really originate in Ohio, Cincinnati has valid title to the corn-filled contest when you take into account that the modern resurgence of the game took place on the city’s west side during the 1970s. Nowadays in Cincinnati, you’d be hard-pressed to find a campground, barbecue, or backyard without a group of inebriated cornhole players, and cornhole leagues, custom board manufacturers, and cornhole bars abound.
Considering that the city enjoys being called “Porkopolis” and brags
that spaghetti topped with chili is its namesake cuisine, it’s no surprise that Cincinnati also claims a game with an infamous name of questionable etymology . And since this unapologetic metropolis is the host of our upcoming 2018 NSNC Conference, June 7 to 10, at the Cincinnati Kingsgate Marriott, there’s no better time than now to host a Cornhole Tournament!
That answers your “why cornhole, why now” questions, but if you’re still clueless about the game itself, let’s go over its simple objectives.
A cornhole set consists of two slanted plywood boards, each with a hole roughly in the center, and eight square feed-corn-filled bags. Two single players, or two teams, take turns throwing bags at the opposite team’s board. A bag that lands on the board but not in the hole is worth one point. A bag that goes through the hole is worth three points. The first team or player to reach or exceed 21 points wins.
It’s not exactly rocket science, and so much safer to play while drinking beer than lawn darts. So it’s the perfect Saturday-afternoon conference activity, when our minds will be filled to capacity with information and inspiration.
At 3:30 pm sharp, competition will begin at Kingsgate Marriott’s Fifth Third Plaza (an outdoor space behind the hotel). NSNC Vice President Chris Carosa, financial columnist and cornhole humorist, will be our illustrious tournament emcee.
Teams will consist of four players each. A Cornhole Team sign-up sheet will be available all day Saturday. The first eight teams to register will compete for prizes commensurate with such a dubious honor, while everyone else gets to heckle from the sidelines.
Game on!
Register for the conference here.
